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When you have to work but ball is life

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Queen Elizabeth's Tinder profile

How does the the human brain ignore the second the?

If you count your money when it comes out of the ATM machine you officially dont trust a damn thing

Chile We finally have democracy! YOu have Yes!We held electionS and a Marxist won! Now we can nationalize the COpper mine you own!

When you break into a house to rob themn but they are watching Shrek 2 memesmug0

Arguing with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeo... No matter how good you are the bird is going to shit on the board and strut around like it won anyway.

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US NAVY DOCTOR ASTRONAUT AGE 18 AGE 32 AGE35 i INDIATIMES · 2 MIN READ This Guys A Genius A Soldier Doctor And Astronaut All Before His 36th Birthday Finally! A worthy opponent!

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Harry is adjusting great to America.

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PRO TIP NAPPING If you want to nap while the kids are home just say Wake me up in 30 minutes so we can clean the house. They will then do literally anything to avoid waking you.

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Psychological Facts @factsionary Lonely people take longer hotter showers or baths to replace the warmth theyre lacking socially or emotionally. Storm @stormyamaya okay I wasnt expecting to be attacked like that

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Keep scrolling I want to go meet my girifriend upstairs

Her baby Pregnant teen girl Mom iss gonna kill me

When youre trying to make the right decisions but Satan keeps tempting you.

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I BET EVERY MAN WOULD BE FAITHFUL IF GOD TOOK AN INCH OFF HIS DICK EVERY TIME HE CHEATED.

A Solo @BravelySolo In Zack Snyders Justice League (2021) Barry Allen breaks a window by simply touching it. This is because Windows no longer supports Flash. GIF imgtip.com 055 · 19 Mar 21 · Twitter Web App

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being single is like... its just u and ur water bottle

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This is how Horror movies begin

Surprise math quiz Panik Teacher says its a walk in the park Kalm Jurassic Park Panik made with mematic

When you were hoping for a sexy night with your wife but you both took full advantage of the Olive Gardens all you can eat breadsticks during your date and now you cant move.

When I help my wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate ROBBER SEARCH YOU BETTER RUN NYAYORES

r/Jokes · 12h u/Kcbummy Why are catholic priests called father? RELIGION Because daddy would be too suspicious 10.5k 138 Share

YOu walk in the door eating water and your girls sister is in the bathroom folding the dishes while shes on the phone up stairs on the bed vacuuming the ceiling then you see her putting the couch in the dishwasher and she gives yo

Chelle Chelle Mar 25 2020• O guys will fuck anything

What is the pinnacle of human engineering? Мe BUTTER STICK TYPE

Some people manage stress with yoga meditation and a long walk. I manage stress with simple carbs sarcasm and swearing.

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Pirates when they hear all the cargo ships have to go around the Horn of Africa now @shitheadsteve

Be happy! Fabiosa It drives people crazy

What is your favourite month July Why july I didnt lie

indian people stop saying we cant properly speak english also indians speaking english JAN 08 524 AM dam girl Are u a construction worker Because you are building what

They say that your body is made of 80% water. Im not fat Im flooded. CLALE NET

WONDERFUL DEFINITIONS G Coleus SCHOOL A place where Parents pay and children play. A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich. LIFE INSURANCE A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills. NURSE I

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